Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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