WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
