it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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