When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
