i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
