I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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