I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize