So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
