If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
