Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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