I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
