I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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