My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Bring me that man meat
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
