Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I wish i was in the wii world.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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