first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
