Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
