Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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