i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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