I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize