i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
it's like heaven, but drunker
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
