it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
