Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
