...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
