the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
