i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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