AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize