and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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