I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize