At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
