Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
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