Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
