the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
