She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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