My Higher Power is John Stamos
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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