You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize