He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize