Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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