Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
