this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
