This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Randomize
