Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
