It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
