I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Randomize
