i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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