My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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