I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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