member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
