I just cut my nipple shaving
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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