p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
