My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
