she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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