no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
