this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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