Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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