..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
