Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
