im about as happy as oj after his trial
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
