where am i from again
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
