"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
