Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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