Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
