He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
