i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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