Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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