we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
